Chika has revealed she sought help from a hospital after recently posting a disturbing message about committing suicide.
Today (March 27), the 2020 XXL Freshman returned to Twitter to update her fans on her current situation.
“Alive. wanna go home,” she posted.
A few hours later, she posted another update to Twitter.
“Leaving the hospital,” she tweeted. “Not that i should care about updating anyone besides family. i just wanna be left alone, if that’s okay. i appreciate the prayers and stuff. thanks.”
The tweets allowed fans of the Alabama artist to breathe a sigh of relief. On March 26, Chika raised red flags after posting a lengthy message about a failed suicide attempt and wanting to end her life.
“I went to the top of the Intercontinental, but could not jump. Not because I don’t want to because I don’t want to because the metal stairs were scary,” she wrote in a note shared on her social media. “That’s the thing about having a fucked up brain. No matter how much pain you are in, there will always be something to hold you back. I know you guys are tired of me holding back. It’s draining and sad. And looks like crying wolf. But it’s not, it’s just difficult finding the right way. The quickest way. The painless way. I am tired of myself too. I don’t need anyone feeling bad or worried because I failed the last time I tried. Save your emotions for when I succeed. It will be the first time I got what I wanted in its entirety. The first time I’ll be okay having no help. The one thing I was capable of doing on my own.”
“I think I am supposed to be a cautionary tale of sorts. What happens when no one listens. What happens when you leave a broken person to their own devices. What happens when you think people are too capable to fail. We have Icarus and we have me. One flew too close to the sun and one couldn’t conquer metal stairs only 20 feet away from eternal freedom. I will find that freedom somehow today. I am not sorry to let people down. I refuse to die carrying the burdens of people who could not share my own. I refuse to take this pressure to the grave. I refuse to continue to deceive myself into thinking that things are meant to get better. I knew everything in my life before it happened. Ask my mom and dad. They heard me predict my life. I was not wrong and I am still not wrong. I am not speaking things into existence. I am speaking of what already exists. The story. The narrative. The ebbs and flows. The saga.”
“I was never meant to win. I was meant to show someone else they can. I do not forgive anyone and I do not want anyone to forgive me. Except my best friend Cole and my immediate family. Mom, dad sisters. That’s it. They shouldn’t have to hurt when remembering me. That really fucking sucks and I’m a piece of shit for that. I know it but my hurting matters [too] even if only to me. Thank you to the nice lady in MN who gave me a hug. That kindness and selflessness is needed in the world. You’re someone’s angel. You’re going to save someone’s life. Just not mine. No more typing. I’m going to finish my drink and find a way that works. Thanks for the ride. I hated it.”
The manifesto appeared to have been triggered by a panic attack Chika suffered while on a plane trip. After posting and deleting the note, she also posted several tweets about feeling very uncomfortable while on a flight and where her body could be found.
“I’ve been having a silent panic attack for 2 hours pls excuse my tweets,” she posted after deleting the disturbing message. “I need to let it out or i will actually lose it on this flight & i refuse to be that person.”
XXL has reached out to Chika’s team for comment.
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